Do not get me wrong here, I support the trend from body shaming to body positivity by heart. Long overdue from my point of view: we women should feel feminine and completely comfortable with ourselves and our body, also and perhaps precisely because we don’t all look like super models.
Hormones flow and my body positivity has just left my body for a fewdays.
But for me, my body positivity (which I still need to treat very well to maintain it) usually stops where my PMS starts. Isn’t that crazy? Everything was just fine. The jeans fit great and my butt was quite sexy and then… hormones flow and my body positivity has just left my body for a few days (unfortunately quite the opposite to the water that accumulates at the same time).
BODY POSITIVITY VS. BODY ACCEPTANCE
As with many other things, I feel that body positivity when it is designated as the sole target, I am more likely to feel pressure. Pressure that I should accept myself and my body and love me as I am, every inch and needless to say every day and in every situation. Yes, even during sex, when one or the other part of the body throws a small to medium-sized role and in my head body positivity and body perfectionism have a hot debate. But with a sexy look I try to signal full body-self-love to my partner in that moment, while in my head I mantraically say to myself: “He certainly hasn’t seen what I’ve seen, just ignore it and move on”.
Ok, this might be a dialogue that rarely takes place in my head these days (which was quite a long way). But I know the inner struggle between body positivity and body perfectionism very well. And it gets particularly loud around menstruation. On these days I have to pay special attention to treating myself even more lovingly, when this pressure arises that I have to love every part of my body unconditionally. What I do then? Simply loving acceptance. Not towards my body itself, but towards the part in my head that just doesn’t want to accept my body completely.
WHAT TO DO IF BODY POSITIVITY IS NOT AN OPTION?
It’s important to be kind on (the) days when we don’t manage to love ourselves just the way we are and accept that as it is right now. We do not have to be able to love and accept everything and every part of our body in the same way every day, because this too can make us feel stressed. If we notice that we are just very picky with ourselves again, then a look into the menstrual calendar often helps. Usually these thoughts come around the same time within the cycle. Then it is necessary to have a lot of loving acceptance, to wait, to be kind and to pamper yourself. Luckily, these hormonally-caused, extreme phases pass by themselves and after that a little more body positivity enters the body and the water disappears again.