By oral sex we mean sexual practices in which one partner stimulates the genitals of the other by mouth.
This can be lips, tongue and/or teeth. A distinction must be made between two types of oral sex:
Oral sex – what is meant by it
In fellatio the penis is stimulated. Popular language also speaks of the so-called blowjob. In cunnilingus the vulva is treated with the mouth. Most people speak of pussy eating when they mean oral sex for women. Statistically women give more blowjobs than they receive oral sex themselves – this phenomenon is called oral sex gap. What made us sad when researching this article in this context is that one of the reasons for this gap seems to be that women are often ashamed of their vulva. There will be a separate article on this topic.
Communication about oral sex
In general communication in bed or about sex is right and important to have maximum fun with each other. No one can instinctively know what the other person finds exciting or what kind of stimulation he or she needs to enjoy sex. The same applies to oral sex. Whether it is the spoken word or a concrete instruction by showing which touches, movements or tongue plays are a turn on, it does not matter. Moaning approval can also be valuable to convey to the partner what pleases during oral sex. Important for everyone are honesty and concrete instructions so that there are no misunderstandings. An accusatory manner or comparisons with previous partners are less helpful.
What about the jerks who think good oral sex consists of sucking your clit so hard it feels like you’re stuck to a vacuum cleaner? You’re there, squirming, about to pass out from agony, slapping at him and yanking his hair to get him to stop, and what does the moron do? Thinks you’re coming, redoubles his efforts, and obnoxiously grins at you. – Elle Aycart, Heavy Issues
Oral sex is not for everyone
It can happen that the sexual partner does not want to have oral sex. Of course this must be respected. The reasons for this can be different. Some people do not like the smell and/or taste of penis or vulva. Also it is not everyone’s cup of tea to have the tongue in place when the partner comes to orgasm. Uncertainty about the right technique can also prevent people from embarking on the adventure of oral sex. However as mentioned above communication can help with this last point in particular.
Oral sex for lovers
Just as there are people who do not enjoy oral sex there are also people for whom oral sex is simply a part of life and who enjoy being spoiled with their mouths but who also enjoy being spoiled. If a woman enjoys it you can tell not only by the fact that she gets wet, but also for example by her moaning and by the fact that she pushes her pelvis forward and stretches towards her partner. Men who like a blow job often have their eyes closed and make affirmative sounds. It can also happen that he holds his partner’s head with his hands and thus promotes an even deeper penetration into his mouth.
Deepthroat – what is that?!
Deepthroat means that the man’s penis slides down into the woman’s throat. This creates a choking sensation that is often additionally stimulating for the recipient but can frighten the giver, because of the feeling to not being able to breathe. Nevertheless there are also many women who like this sex practice and like to satisfy him orally in this way. With a little practice and the right position (for example lying on your back on the bed with your head over the edge of the bed) it will definitely become easier and the gag reflex can be overcome.
Cunnilingus and its pitfalls
Many women love to be spoiled orally. Nevertheless going down on her is a bit tricky. The mentioned quote already makes it clear: A little bit of sensitivity and technique is needed that gives the recipient pleasure instead of pain. In general women like variety in oral sex, a mixture of sucking and licking, sometimes faster, sometimes slower, sometimes harder, sometimes gentler. Speaking of harder, the clitoris is a very sensitive zone. Therefore in case of hyperstimulation it can happen that it is more unpleasant than arousing. Thus pay close attention to the body language and reduce the tempo and intensity if necessary.
Oral sex – a hodgepodge of techniques
If you do research on the subject of oral sex you will find among other things many tips for the right technique: from the technique for beginners to the technique for advanced oral sex lovers. It would be beyond the scope of this article to go into this in detail so we will write about it again separately. At this point we would like to encourage you to try out oral sex courageously and to gain your own experience. Because even the best technique is useless if we have not experienced how something feels, both as giver and receiver.
