It’s always the same: Whatever seems to be offensive or even forbidden is extremely appealing. This is particularly clear when it comes to sex.
As long as sex was a topic that was only discussed behind closed doors everyone wanted to have it. But since sex has been everywhere this has led to a general decrease in people’s sexual activity. But since sex has been everywhere this has led to a general decrease in people’s sexual activity. This is probably simply because the omnipresence of the topic has become more of a pleasure killer than a pleasure booster. Therefore many people today need new or different ways to make sex attractive again and/or to rekindle lust.
The appeal of something tabooed
Obviously it is precisely the unfulfilled, often forbidden or taboo sexual desires and needs behind which a great driving force for one’s own handling of sexuality is hidden. This also explains why many people who are in a stable partnership long for an adventure outside of the partnership and often live out this longing in the form of one-off or recurring affairs.
In many partnerships it seems to be or has become customary not to talk about one’s own sexual desires and needs. It is therefore not uncommon for sexuality between partners to become a kind of compulsory program or even fall asleep completely. Instead of talking to each other the subject is outsourced by one or possibly even both of them.
Tabus sind Dinge, über die man nicht spricht, weil ohnehin alle daran denken.
Ralph Boller
The boom of dating apps like Tinder, Joy Club, C-Date or Bumble seems to confirm this. There sexual fantasies can be expressed and lived out in a more or less anonymous setting or environment which outside of this dating app bubble tend to be hushed up or remain unlived. In addition everyone here is interested in the same thing. Without having to explain themselves in a big way they are all looking for either a relationship or an affair with someone who is also sexually open. The attraction seems to be hidden in the fact that they all think of the same thing and want the same thing.
The spaces where fantasies come alive
It is similar with swinger clubs and sex parties. Here uninhibitedly the space is offered and people meet to live out fantasies that play no role in everyday life or in the marital bed or the shared apartment because they fall victim to indecency. What on the one hand falls into the category of perverted and/or abnormal and thus should be kept away from one’s own homes takes place at the appropriate place and place with like-minded people.
Those who do not (yet) dare to live their own sexual fantasies openly also have the possibility to satisfy their unfulfilled tabooed desires with the help of porn. Here there seem to be hardly any taboos. Sex is practiced in all possible forms and ways. No fantasy is too abnormal, too unusual, too extreme which on the one hand fuels the omnipresence of sex and thus the increasing disinterest in sexual activity but on the other hand also opens up a space in which the appeal of the forbidden exponentiates the horniness of the consumer.
Thus it is always a balancing act between an over-sexualization that leads to less real sex and a space that is created where unfulfilled, supposedly forbidden sexual needs can be satisfied and where people get what they are longing for: physical fusion in all of its facets.
